Affectionate Filmgoer Gifts

Now playing. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs II. If I'm too scared, can we cuddle. It's why I make him see these horrible movies.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Getting to Know You

'It was great. I hated it.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Spoiler alert."

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Kirsten Johnson

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Quentin Tarantino

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

"The cape comes off too."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'