Festive Abstainer Pillows

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I don't believe in you!"

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

The Devil's advocaat.

Turkey going away for Christmas.

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

'No cuts in Medicare!'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'Twas the night after Christmas.

'Rudolph, your nose!'

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'

'He knows if you've been good or bad - based on how many friends and followers you have.'

'New Year's Eve is definitely a time for reflection...and it's usually my face in the punch bowl.'

"I think climate change could be a factor in this election."

Slippery underfoot

"We all have our own Christmas spirit. Mine's bourbon."

Santa Knows Where You Are

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

'Mr. Humbug'

"I can't believe it's that time of year already."

'Nothing. Turn off the porch light.'