Festive Rejector Pillows

Turkey going away for Christmas.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

The New Year's Dance

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

Santa Metal Claus

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

The Devil's advocaat.

NSA is coming to town.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Scary Face at Window

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

'No cuts in Medicare!'

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

"Room for bigger presents!"

Santa's Nightmares

Happy Holidays. Egg Nog. Put a head on that eggnog. That would make it an "egg-noggin"!

Dogs play the double bass

"Mum, I think Grandad's run out of batteries."

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'I hate Christmas!'