Romantic Rejector Pillows

"The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo."

Sue will you marry me? -Bob. No. -Sue

'Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'-but I keep telling you-these things take time...'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

Turkey going away for Christmas.

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

"Not on my watch..."

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'