Festive Realist Pillows

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

'The big guy doesn't need us anymore. He's giving everyone gift cards this year.'

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."

Merry Austerity Christmas

Only 30 'Moaning about how commercial it's all getting' days 'til Christmas!

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'How much to just stop?!'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"I don't believe in you!"

The New Year's Dance

Bad gifts

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

A Sweet Christmas Connection

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

It won't be Christmas without you!

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

Santa Claus Always Delivers

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"That was naughty AND nice."