Festive Realist T-Shirts

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

'The big guy doesn't need us anymore. He's giving everyone gift cards this year.'

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."

Merry Austerity Christmas

Only 30 'Moaning about how commercial it's all getting' days 'til Christmas!

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'How much to just stop?!'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"I don't believe in you!"

The New Year's Dance

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Bad gifts

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

A Sweet Christmas Connection

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

It won't be Christmas without you!

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"It's a party Jim, but not as we know it!"

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

Santa Claus Always Delivers

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'