Festive Realists T-Shirts

Omicron Christmas

"I don't believe in you!"

"I hate this time of year."

Bad gifts

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

The New Year's Dance

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"It's a party Jim, but not as we know it!"

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Santa Claus Always Delivers

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

Xmas Labour Shortage

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

Dogs play the double bass

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'Well it was a pretty good year.'