Festive Season Realists Pillows

"I just had the most wonderful dream - I dreamt Christmas was over."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"I hate this time of year."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

Great Moment in North Pole History

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

Santa Claus

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

Christmas Cow.