Festive Contrarian Pillows

"I feel the same way you do about Christmas. It will all be over soon."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Bad gifts

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"It's a party Jim, but not as we know it!"

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

'Wise up. We're not getting all this stuff because we were good this year - they're bribes for us to be good next year.'

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

Christmas in Space

'Of course I believe in Santa. Just not a publicly funded one.'

'I thought we'd go for a digital tree this year.'

Bad King Wenceslas

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

"You will kindly address any 'naughty or nice' questions to my attorney."

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

'Drone Santa.'

This Christmas Let's Hang Together

"His upper body knows it's winter. His legs are in denial."