'Tell us how the big guy really finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'
Festivity Cynic Pillows
Add some humor to their home with pillows that cheekily mock the holiday cheer. Our festivity cynic pillows bring wit and personality to any couch or bed, making cozy, humorous statements.
"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"
"'How We Die' - fabulous!"
"I don't believe in you!"
Champagne
'I hate all holidays!'
Cheers
Maypole
'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'
"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."
'I don't believe in myself any more.'
"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"
'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'
"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"
"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."
"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."
" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."
'Top floor, please.'
"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."
"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."
Turkey Owl
"What would you charge to poor champagne over my head?"
"180 million eggs, please."
Xmas Labour Shortage
'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'
'Are you crazy? -- You can't spam SANTA!'
"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"
"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"
'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'
What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh
A surprised man drives a car with his fireworks exploding.
'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'
The Happiest Hen in Abingdon.
"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"
"I've never hated Christmas, just people."
Festivity Cynic Pillows Collection
Festivity Cynic Mugs
Explore our collection of humorously cynical mugs that are perfect for anyone who loves to poke fun at holiday festivities.
Festivity Cynic Prints
View our bold prints that feature clever commentary on festivities, perfect for adding a humorous touch to their space.
Festivity Cynic T-Shirts
Check out our witty t-shirts designed for the festival cynic—great for casual occasions or making a humorous statement.