Festivity Cynic Pillows

'Tell us how the big guy really finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Champagne

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

Cheers

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Maypole

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

'Top floor, please.'

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

Turkey Owl

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

The Happiest Hen in Abingdon.

"180 million eggs, please."

"What would you charge to poor champagne over my head?"

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'Are you crazy? -- You can't spam SANTA!'

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

A surprised man drives a car with his fireworks exploding.

Xmas Labour Shortage

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'Well it was a pretty good year.'