Festive Season Cynic Pillows

'HUMBUG!!'

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I don't believe in you!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"

"Of course I was speeding - how else am I going to visit billions of households in one night?!"

Santa Claus

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

Post early for Christmas 2010.

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Hey, would you mind stirring your Ovaltine somewhere else?!'

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"Phew! That was a close shave guys!"

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

'I'm trying to be politically correct.'

Please Decorate Our Tree. . . We are too busy.

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

1784: Wigs are all the rage

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

"These masks aren't working. I'm feeling feverish."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'