Festive Season Cynic Pillows

'HUMBUG!!'

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"Of course I was speeding - how else am I going to visit billions of households in one night?!"

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

Santa Claus

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

Post early for Christmas 2010.

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"Phew! That was a close shave guys!"

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

Please Decorate Our Tree. . . We are too busy.

'I'm trying to be politically correct.'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

1784: Wigs are all the rage

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."