Holiday Cynic Pillows

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

This Christmas you will be exploited and abused, so just give us the fifty quid and **** off!

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

Christmas - Let's get it over with.

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"So that's agreed then, we'll go with 'Happy Festive Period' as long as we add a codicil confirming we are in no way responsible for said 'happiness' or 'festivity'."

"I feel the same way you do about Christmas. It will all be over soon."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

Christmas Sale Special

'I'm really sorry, but production costs are far lower in Korea!'

Baaa...humbug.

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

Wallowing in elf pity...

Typical, isn't it?