Cynical Holiday Observer Pillows

Merry Crisis and Happy New Fear.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

Dirty Tricks Dept.

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

Just your average family holiday portrait.

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'This model comes with F.S.H - P.S. - E.W. - C.C. - A.B.S and B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.'

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

"I won't be needing you this year."

'The demeanor of this judicial panel doesn't bode well for your appeal.'

Please, please please let me be the one to tell him we outsourced his job.

Vote Glibney! Give government back to the people! 'What's the point? -- they'd just sell it on E-Bay.'

"He knows nothing of the Superglue theft and he's sticking to the facts."

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

A hunter sits reading by the fireplace with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and the Easter Bunny's heads mounted on the wall as trophies.

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

Christmas Sale Special

How bipartisanship really works...'Still the best congress money can buy!'

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

'I'm really sorry, but production costs are far lower in Korea!'

Baaa...humbug.