Christmas Cynics Pillows

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I hate all holidays!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'About this patriarchal middle-class morality of yours....'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

Santa Sucks

Christmas Sale Special

'Do you ever wonder where elves come from?'

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

Baaa...humbug.

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

Spama Claus.

Wallowing in elf pity...

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

Lighting of the President-Elect