Christmas Cynics Pillows

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I hate all holidays!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'About this patriarchal middle-class morality of yours....'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

'Do you ever wonder where elves come from?'

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

Christmas Sale Special

Santa Sucks

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

Baaa...humbug.

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'

Wallowing in elf pity...

"Running Deer sends his regrets."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'