Christmas Skeptic Pillows

"For Christmas we're making a contribution in your name to some charity or other."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Christmas: Let's get it over with.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"I don't believe in you!"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Panettone

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

'He's got your nose.'

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

'I hate all holidays!'

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

Filming Christmas

Zoom Christmas

"Elfis"

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"I noticed a few browns."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."