Christmas Skeptics Pillows

Santa Documentary

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"God, I hate theme dinners."

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

Santa's elevator

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

"It was never about the presents - it's about the power."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

Christmas Sale Special

'For the last time...turn that light off and go to sleep!'

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Chimney-Greasing Santa

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Baaa...humbug.

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."