Christmas Skeptics Gifts

Santa Documentary

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I don't believe in you!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"God, I hate theme dinners."

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Santa's elevator

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

"It was never about the presents - it's about the power."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

Chimney-Greasing Santa

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Christmas Sale Special

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Baaa...humbug.

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"