Holiday Skeptic Gifts

'Christmas is always a bit of a let down. I don't blame you. I blame the system.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

Santa Claus does not exist - Satan

No more Mr Nice Guy!

"I'm not a believer anymore. I just come for the optics."

"So what do you think about this Christmas thing?"

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Bah, humbug!

'Tell us how the big guy really finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'

'I hate all holidays!'

"I'll be glad when the holidays are over."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

"I just had the most wonderful dream - I dreamt Christmas was over."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I don't believe in you!"

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"God, I hate theme dinners."

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'