Christmas Skeptic Gifts

"For Christmas we're making a contribution in your name to some charity or other."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Christmas: Let's get it over with.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Panettone

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"I don't believe in you!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

Filming Christmas

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"Elfis"

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'I hate all holidays!'

Zoom Christmas

'He's got your nose.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Reindeer

"Rockefeller Center."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"I noticed a few browns."