Christmas Cynic Gifts

Baaa...humbug.

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"It's not 'too f**king early for Christmas' it's 'REALLY too f**king early for Christmas 26'."

a Lump of coal

Christmas - Let's get it over with.

Santa and reindeers mounted as wall trophies

Wallowing in elf pity...

We Know Its Xmas Crap But Hey People Buy It.

"Wouldn't a 'No Carol Singers' sign be easier?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

"Did he give it all to the poor, or just the after salary and expenses part?"

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

Santa Sucks

Christmas Sale Special

'Do you ever wonder where elves come from?'

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'