Holiday Cynics Gifts

Christmas Sale Special

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"And this is where the magic happens."

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

'I'm really sorry, but production costs are far lower in Korea!'

Baaa...humbug.

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'

"Running Deer sends his regrets."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

Wallowing in elf pity...

Two Boys Dressed As Gentlemen.

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

Santa Claus does not exist - Satan

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

"This time of year I'm truly happy I'm inside."

Santa and reindeers mounted as wall trophies

"Well, Uncle Marvin got drunk and channeled his inner Rush Limbaugh. My Aunt threw a bible at my sister when she said that Donald Trump was not the second coming of Christ. . ."