Festive Skeptics Pillows

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'We'll go to Santa's Grotto next year, after the recession.'

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Xmas Labour Shortage

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Well it was a pretty good year.'

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

"There was no Christmas Party."

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."