Festive Skeptics Pillows

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'We'll go to Santa's Grotto next year, after the recession.'

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Xmas Labour Shortage

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Well it was a pretty good year.'

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

"Mom, if nothing in life is free, how do you explain Christmas presents?"

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"There was no Christmas Party."

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."