Modern Holiday Cynics Pillows

'I'm feeling a bit cynical this year. Just bring me cash.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"And this is where the magic happens."

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

Christmas Sale Special

'I'm really sorry, but production costs are far lower in Korea!'

Baaa...humbug.

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

Wallowing in elf pity...

Two Boys Dressed As Gentlemen.

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

"Running Deer sends his regrets."

Santa Claus does not exist - Satan

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

"This time of year I'm truly happy I'm inside."

Santa and reindeers mounted as wall trophies