Festive Contrarians Pillows

Santa’s Armory

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Turkey going away for Christmas.

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

'I hate Christmas!'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"His upper body knows it's winter. His legs are in denial."

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

"There was no Christmas Party."

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

Mistletoe Farm

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'

'Nothing. Turn off the porch light.'

Omicron Christmas

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

'Mr. Humbug'

'The big guy doesn't need us anymore. He's giving everyone gift cards this year.'

Merry Austerity Christmas