Farm Dweller Gifts

Counting sheep.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Country Bumpkin.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"Scuba cow"

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'A Vertical Take-off Cow'.

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

Twitter that!

"Can you keep a secret?"

2 cows in a boat, about to go over a waterfall: Hang on a minute...or was it cats that had the 9 lives?

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

Easter Ham Free.

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'How now, brown cow?'