Farm Living Gifts

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Life is great' down on the farm.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Support group for sheep.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Country Bumpkin.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Scuba cow"

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'Trickle or Spray!?'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

I fart more than that!

High Riders of the Old West

"They’re real."

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Dedication to excellence....

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

"Static cling."

You complete me!

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'