Country Living Gifts

'First the good news: he has 3 excellent legs.'

'Come on guys, I think I saw him go that way!'

"How would you feel about a little place in the city, just to get away from all the hunting and gathering?"

'I'm sorry you're disappointed. What did you think we meant by 'our plaice in the country'?'

Cow selling milk from small roadside stand.

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Country Bumpkin.

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

A Farmer's Favourite Sheep

'Sorry we're late, we had a bit of trouble finding you.'

"If we were still in the city we wouldn't appreciate this as much."

"Well, well. Look who's back from trying to make it in the big city."

Rural Life - Uninvited guests

Heenan Sayers Fight- Heenan's New Training base, J Pocock's Farm near Bath

'I don't have any cash flow problems. It all washed away in the flood.'

'You don't have to be a cow to work here...BUT IT HELPS!'

'One large cup of coffee, no cream, no sugar, and one oat bagel, plain, for ol' Comet here.'

Bloomin' moths!

What Jeff doesn't know is they're not grapes he's about to pick!

When rednecks and techies network.

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

Notice Board - Free Range Eggs with arrows pointing in opposite directions

"I like friut flies!"

'Did you want me, boss?'

"Folks new to country living quickly learn to tell the difference between "gravel roads" and dirt roads"."

"Sure sign of rain that, when someone lights a barbecue."

"That was one GREAT salesman!"

Bear using an ATM machine.

'As I understand it, city kids come from the stork, and country kids come from the cabbage patch.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

Down On the Farm

Caution! Heavy Load!

"You know, I think the novelty of living in a converted Barn is starting to wear off."

"To be honest I used to hear more birdsong when I lived in the city."