Country Homes Gifts

The need for Tweed

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

Country Bumpkin.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

High Riders of the Old West

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

I fart more than that!

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"Herb's from Texas."

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

"You're famous, Angus."

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."