Small Farm Dweller Gifts

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

Country Bumpkin.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Scuba cow"

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

Twitter that!

"Is his nose locally grown?"

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

"Can you keep a secret?"

2 cows in a boat, about to go over a waterfall: Hang on a minute...or was it cats that had the 9 lives?

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

Show and Tell.

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

Easter Ham Free.

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'