Rural Dweller Gifts

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

"So what's it like living out in the sticks"

A Man Ignores A Warning Sign.

'Ma, come see what just crawled out of the woodpile.'

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

'I used to have a real nice lawn before the cows moved in next door.'

Cities are springing up everywhere these days: I'd better move away if I want to remain a Country Mouse...

"It's amazing what you can buy online."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Farm Humor.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Country Bumpkin.

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"They’re real."

I fart more than that!

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

You complete me!