Farmhouse Dweller Gifts

"Come, join me for a few moments of mindful indolence!"

Sign next to a road through a rural area that reads "Next Democrat 50 mi.".

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Country Bumpkin.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"Geese today just don't seem to take pride in their appearance."

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Scarecrow.

'On the other hand, it does have a certain charm.'

'Ma, come see what just crawled out of the woodpile.'

"I said, can you hear me now...?!"

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

"Do require a certain twist, Cousin!"

Who needs an iPod, ah?

Science and Nature.

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

Rural Life - Man woken by a cockerel

'And we feel like, in a sense, you've outgrown the job.'

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

'She asked at what rate is farmland disappearing, and I put a wash load a day. What's wrong with that?'

"I'm going to feed the snakes!"

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."