Farmhouse Dweller Gifts

"Come, join me for a few moments of mindful indolence!"

Sign next to a road through a rural area that reads "Next Democrat 50 mi.".

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Country Bumpkin.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Scarecrow.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

"Geese today just don't seem to take pride in their appearance."

'Ma, come see what just crawled out of the woodpile.'

"I said, can you hear me now...?!"

Rural Life - Man woken by a cockerel

"Do require a certain twist, Cousin!"

Science and Nature.

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

'And we feel like, in a sense, you've outgrown the job.'

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

"I'm going to feed the snakes!"

'...the family home has recently come on the market.'

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

'She asked at what rate is farmland disappearing, and I put a wash load a day. What's wrong with that?'

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."