Field Dweller Gifts

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Marshmallows

Country Bumpkin.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

City Boy.

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

A man rakes a tree

Camping-Pong

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"Come and get it!"

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

Reverse Mortgage.

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

Christmas tree exchange

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."