Fantasy Narrative Enthusiast Gifts

Fresh Blood In Politics

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

A Fairytale Update

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

ET Mishap

Late BroomStick

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Where the wild things were."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Grimm's Reality Tales.

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"