Family Life Commentators Pillows

Human Cull: Parents who bring their ill-behaved children to movie meant for adults.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

"You're good mum. But, Billy's mum is a better cook than you. She only knows how to make chocolate cake."

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Our Troubled Chowders

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

How it started: How it's going

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"Yeah, work is tough, but nothing compared to coming home and stepping on one of the kids' legos."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."