Family Dynamics Commentator Pillows

'...My daughter could have married a dentist, you know...'

"I'm divorced, Mother, not 'pre-owned'."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"We need to have a serious talk."

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'