Entertainment Devotee Gifts

The Comedians

"Bad news - the critics are calling it a smart comedy."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

George Michael

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Michael Jackson.

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Reese Witherspoon

Big screen TV.

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"Check it out! The big Comic-Con starts this week!"

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Starvation Watching

Jim Carrey,

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

Medieval headlines.

Ringo Starr

"This is what I call a home entertainment centre."