Entertainment Enthusiasts Gifts

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"We're done with Baby Einstein. We're on to Baby Bruckheimer."

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

"Five million channels! This is heaven indeed!"

"And now. . . for the last stupid human trick!"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Fist Bumper Cars

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Reese Witherspoon

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Big screen TV.

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

Easter Candy Island.

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Starvation Watching

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Harriet Walter

Medieval headlines.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.