Emergency Planner Gifts

'What's that?' - 'It's in case we have a power failure.'

Cat stuck up tree with 'You are here' sign.

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

His and Hers In Case of Emergency

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

It's a special whistle for emergencies. Only my attorney can hear it.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

Fire Assembly Point

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'My backup special...'

In case of fire call yourself.

'I'm taking no chances.'