Emergency Planning Gifts

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

In Case of Emergency Break Glass.

Break Glass in an Emergency.

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Emergency Phone.

'I'm on my way!'

Emergency exit into Space

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

Frontline health workers

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

'I'd say you're a little late...'

Prepper Dog

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Decontamination

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

Tsunami Evac Route

"My God, now what?"

Emergency Underpants

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Paramedics.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Small Government Is Here