Emergency Medic Gifts

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Where does it hurt?'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

Paramedics.

Hurricane damage to trees

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'In a pig's eye, you say!'

"Thanks for coming in to work on such short notice."

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

Extreme sports injuries ward.

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

"The bad news that he was knocked down by an ambulance but the good news is that it's done wonders for our response times!"

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

Musical Accidents

'Next.'

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Emergency: "Waiting long?"

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

Using a Defibrillator a paramedic can tell if Pinocchio is lying.