Emergency Doctor Gifts

Using a Defibrillator a paramedic can tell if Pinocchio is lying.

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'Where does it hurt?'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

'How long did you try before calling?'

Out of Emergency into Doctor's Lounge

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"Thanks for coming in to work on such short notice."

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'Next.'

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

Extreme sports injuries ward.

Musical Accidents

CLEAR!

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

"I'll put you on the waiting list."

The Sting Operation

"He fought like hell."

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

'You don't have time for a second opinion, Mr. Garvey. We've got to cut to the chase!'

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

Emergency room notice - 'Wait hours, or go home'

"Last question, and how would you rate the ambulance response time to today's accident?"

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'