Emergency Medical Professional Gifts

Medical treatment.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

First aid departments

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

Paramedics.

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

'In a pig's eye, you say!'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

Hurricane damage to trees

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'Next.'

Extreme sports injuries ward.

Operation/Grim Reaper

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

"The bad news that he was knocked down by an ambulance but the good news is that it's done wonders for our response times!"