Emergency Physician Gifts

'Where does it hurt?'

Casualty

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

First aid in mountains

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

First aid departments

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

'How long did you try before calling?'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

Out of Emergency into Doctor's Lounge

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"Thanks for coming in to work on such short notice."

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

Operation/Grim Reaper

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

Extreme sports injuries ward.

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

Musical Accidents

'Next.'

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

Using a Defibrillator a paramedic can tell if Pinocchio is lying.

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."