Emergency Medical Personnel Gifts

'You might have quite a wait - we have a badly battered film crew ahead of you.'

The importance of mobile phones

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

First aid departments

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

Grim reaper ambulance

Paramedics.

'In a pig's eye, you say!'

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'A fight has broken out between Dr. Who fans and Star Trek fans. No hurry, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt is very small.'

"The bad news that he was knocked down by an ambulance but the good news is that it's done wonders for our response times!"

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

Operation/Grim Reaper

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.