Emergency Personnel Gifts

"Please, no need to thank me. I was only doing my job."

The Endless Marathon

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"It's not that I'm not grateful... But I do wish you could have saved me from the shark a little sooner."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Coronavirus Global Alert

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Ticket and passport, please."

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

In a twinkling, Rover shed his leash and became Duke, Wonder Dog of Kansas city.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'