Embarrassing Dad Pillows

Dad dancing

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

How witness protection really works...

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

D-Day (Dad Day)

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

Father's Day

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

Timber!

Mix up on the maternity ward.

"So, you're the blind date! Listen, if it doesn't work out with my Lisa, just comeback: she has 27 sisters...."

Bob's Unexpected Father's Day Gift...

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

'Hi Bob, we're playing hairdresser: Want to join in?'

"And I thought changing the twins was going to be difficult!"

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"No, son, a tax shelter is not where you go to rescue an accountant."

'Punish us if you must, Dad, but who will you get to tie your shoe laces for you?'

When Butt-dialers Talk

'Happy Birthday, Dad, we got you a safe to keep all your money in - only you and us will know the combination!'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum,'

'See, your father's never afraid of being in the minority.'

A spot of Dad-dancing.

'Hey Pops.'

'I was school champion at keepy uppy. I bet I can still keep this ball off the ground for hours.'

'Honey, you know last night when you were 'dancing like nobody's watching'...'

"He says it was his dads first attempt at the school run today."