Prankster Dad Pillows

Bob's Unexpected Father's Day Gift...

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Thumbing a Lift.

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

How witness protection really works...

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

'I never believed in spanking children - until today!'

'How many balloons did the kids tie to your doghouse?'

Poisson d'Avril!

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

Echo in the hippo.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.