Prankster Dad Pillows

Bob's Unexpected Father's Day Gift...

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Thumbing a Lift.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"I suppose you think that's funny."

How witness protection really works...

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

'How many balloons did the kids tie to your doghouse?'

'I never believed in spanking children - until today!'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

Poisson d'Avril!

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Echo in the hippo.