Parent Of A Prankster Pillows

'Mom! The neighbour said I should go to public school because I'm a public nuisance.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

The Amazing Mr Sausage

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

It is always something whenever Grandmother watches little Louis.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

On a school trip to a museum, a child takes the head of a horse statue and runs through the museum with it.

'I'm not looking for treasure. I'm trying to find where I buried Dad.'

'You did that on purpose!'

"We should get a lot of money from the tooth fairy. I set out grandpa's false teeth!"

'Last year my kids put a sign on my back, but tomorrow, on April Fools Day, I'll be ready, they won't get me again.'

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

'If you find any loose ones, I have dibs on them for the tooth fairy.'

Yes, we have a 'Happy Meal'. It's when you leave the kids home.

'Today, dad has cooked and we're well prepared!'

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it"

'I fixed the dent in the bumper.'

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

Ask me about Naming Rights.

How to avoid a heart attack.