Funny Fatherhood Moments Pillows

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

How witness protection really works...

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

'Daddy yells, 'I GOT IT I GOT IT' You should have seen how high the ball bounced off Daddy's head'

Baby gets blame for father letting off a fart.

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

They Removed my Brain.

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

'Golf is Life (his).'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

Father's Day

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"Show Daddy what you learnt at Kung fu"

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

Mix up on the maternity ward.

'I'm a house-husband.'

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

"My daddy has a broken leg, so I need to mark his territory for him..."

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'

"Daddy has to clear his head for a few minutes before he can deal with 'Babar'."

Men Parenting

". . .Get back in there and mess up your room properly!"

'Make it easy on yourself, Dad- Just lend me your ATM card.'

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'

"Listen, kid...I'm doing you a favor... Don't call here again for at least another 10 years."