Elderly Sage Gifts

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

Voltaire

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Bishop with a crozier case.

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Hunters turned philosophers"

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'